Parallel Parking: or, easy ways to die

So, I really hate parallel parking.

I hate it in the same way that I hate pool. Because pool and parallel parking are all about “math” and “spacial reasoning” and other literal, non-abstract, clear-cut ways of doing things that I DO NOT excel at. I don’t like things I can’t bullshit my way out of. (I do, however, like ending my sentences in prepositions.) Continue reading “Parallel Parking: or, easy ways to die”

2017 in 10 mins, 12 seconds

One of the many things I (super surprisingly) stuck to last year was doing my 1 Second Everyday. Well mostly everyday. Pobody’s Nerfect. Also bonus points to the viewers who can pinpoint the exact moment we morphed into CAT PEOPLE.


I love this app. Speaking from the point of view of someone who is very sentimental, emotional, and who is constantly living with one foot in the past, this is perfect. It’s a live action time capsule that helps me look back and remember the exciting days, the very boring days, and I can kick myself for the stuff I didn’t film, so I get that nice daily requirement of guilt.

Make starting this app one of your goals this year — especially if you have kids or adorable pets. It’s way very much fun. It costs $8 now (yay for early adopting and getting it for free) but still, very much worth it.

+10, will do again.

Hello, goodbye: 2017

And here we are, at the end of 2017.

I could focus on the bad shit — Trump, loss, depression, not becoming obscenely rich — but I’ll focus on the positive. 2017 was a year for: Continue reading “Hello, goodbye: 2017”

Christmas! v. 2017

Ohhh, Christmas holiday. It didn’t get here one second soon enough. With Joel working long hours and me working long hours ALL FREAKIN MONTH, we’ve both been counting down to getting a few days of sanity back.  Continue reading “Christmas! v. 2017”


Last year’s Friendsgiving was such a blast, we decided to do it again this year. But, in true Audrey fashion, I brought up making plans whenever we got together with our friends, and then forgot to nail down actual plans for the dinner until the day before Thanksgiving.

Whoooooops. Continue reading “Festivus!” – uh, November?

Helloooo, blog land! And by that I mean, helloooo Mom (thanks for reading!). I had planned to do Blog-Tober, where I post every day. Then I was all “well, I’ll do Blog-Vember, since I missed Blog-Tober.” And then, I did nothing. Continue reading “ – uh, November?”

Comfort food, ch. 3: Oatmeal Turners

Ok, so I know oatmeal isn’t exciting. And I know a lot of people could careless. But let me put this out there: I freakin’ love oatmeal. Yes, I am a living on the edge wild child for the fibre treat. I love hot porridge, I love oatmeal skin products, I love the way it feels to sift through a bag of oats with my hands, and I love to fucking destroy a plate of oatmeal cookies. Continue reading “Comfort food, ch. 3: Oatmeal Turners”

Me, too. But not really.

I want to say “me, too.” But I’ve been wrestling with it all week.

I’ve been lucky. I’ve been very fortunate that my experiences with men have mostly been harmless. I say mostly harmless because I haven’t been put in danger or physically harmed — unless you count that time my brother accidentally hit me in the head with a wrench when I was 5. But I have experienced the joys of being female on more than one occasion: Continue reading “Me, too. But not really.”