Dearest 20 year old Audrey,
This is your 30 year old self, here to offer you a glimpse into what’s coming, and maybe some advice (even though you won’t take it, because you’re *really sure* only you know what’s up. Trust me, though, you don’t. Not even a little). So, here goes, some advice to you, you fragile little creature.
-take college seriously. Quit some of your jobs and focus on school. Give a shit about your classes. Take internships that are offered to you. I know it’s hard while you’re depressed. Just fight through it. The grades and knowledge will be worth it. And yes, I know you’re conflicted about leaving New York and transferring to GMU, but don’t worry. You’re going to meet people there who shape your life for the best. AND STOP SKIPPING CLASS.
-leave him the second you think you should. It will save you years of heartache and self-doubt. Stand up for yourself, and don’t let him rip you down. That’s a lesson you’re going to wish you had learned at 20.
-don’t accept that credit card with a $3000 limit. $3000 isn’t an emergency card–it’s a ticket to Trouble Town. And please start saving money. Get a therapist, not another credit card.
-while we are on the subject, stay out of H&M. You won’t own a single thing you bought there for more than a year, and you’ll save yourself about $5k.
-With all that money you save, go on every vacation offered to you, and study abroad. It gets more difficult to travel when you get older.
-study Mom whenever she makes a meal. You’ll wish you’d done that more when she’s not a phone call away.
-don’t spend so much time freaking out about not being where you think you should be. You will learn the hard way that you spent the freest years of your life digging through the “I Should Be” pile, and comparing yourselves to others.
-enjoy that metabolism. And that hair.
-stop panicking about what ifs. What ifs will be lurking around almost every decision you make, because you’re high strung. That’s you. Just relax. There’s a lot ahead for you. And even if you don’t listen to me at all, you still end up living in Australia with your soul mate. And you’ll still be writing. And you’ll be employed. And you’ll still be able to fit in most of your high school clothes. And that’s pretty much above average.
Your 30 Year Old Self
ps. Don’t get rid of that black sleeveless shirt with the lace Victorian style collar. It’s almost ridiculous how much you end up missing it.
One thought on “A letter to my 20 year old self”
“don’t spend so much time freaking out about not being where you think you should be. You will learn the hard way that you spent the freest years of your life digging through the “I Should Be” pile, and comparing yourselves to others.”