On Friday night, my  beloved laptop’s hard drive had a stroke.

And I was sad. Sad for the obvious reason that I’m totally reliant on this very valuable piece of machinery, but also sad because I’m ridiculously sentimental and I’ve had it for years through myriad adventures.

Thankfully – it wasn’t a complete catastrophe. Even though I’m just about the worst at remembering to back up, it just so happens that I did a major back up of all my documents and photos in January. And I hit another stroke of good luck by being “too busy” “too tired” and “too lazy” to start any major projects since I did a back up in January, or to upload my photos from my camera or my phone, so I only lost a few goofy photos on my photo booth.

There was nothing to be done to save the little guy, so my only option was to buy a new computer. Well, or just not have a computer.

Onward we trekked to the Apple store (I’m a hopeless convert), where I was totally cool and knew exactly what I was talking about. Except the opposite.

I’m not cool enough to own Apple products (seriously, I typed “Mac Store” before I realised “no, that’s not what it’s called.”). And walking into the Apple Store makes me feel like they know it, and they’re like a second away from asking me to leave. I also feel like the little that I do know about technology gets reduced to knowing nothing. Usually after the second question about what I need I’ll end up stammering and pointing at what I want, like it’s 2AM and I’m drunk at Denny’s and trying to order a Moons Over My Hammy. And yesterday was no exception. Exhibit A, my exchange with our super hip Apple Guy:

Apple Guy: So what do you need your computer for?
Me: oh… um word processing, internet, Paint Brush…
Apple Guy: Paint Brush?
Me: Yeah, like Microsoft Paint?
Apple Guy: *blinks slowly* Oh, yeah…
Yes, thank you. Now show me how to get on the world wide web and the amazon dot com.

Exhibit B –
Apple Guy: The hard drive died?
Me: Yeah… it was like… it uh… JOEL????

Exhibit C –
Apple Guy: These silicone covers also have a shock absorption inside, so if the computer is dropped or you put your carrying case down too hard, or anything like that, it’s protected.
Me: (interrupting) does it come in other colours?

I’m pretty sure he thought I was going to take home this very nice computer and use it just for Twitter*.  So now I have a flashy, fancy, new baby. And a fancy, flashy new payment plan. I’m excited to have a computer that will be able to handle Illustrator and Photoshop, because those are cool programs to know anyway, but those kind of skills would be super sexy on my resume, too. And just for a split second, my old computer’s hard drive came to life under Joel’s wizardry, and he did a full back for me. But not too long after that, the hard drive crashed again. It was like he came back to life for one last moment. And now, all is well.

Welcome to the family, Alfred P. Mac-ulon. I hope you and your new pal, WORKING HARD DRIVE THAT I WILL STORE ALL MY WORK ON INSTEAD OF ON MY DESK TOP (I need to remember to do this, guys), become fast friends.

*jokes on him, I’m also going to use it for Googling celebrities.