Almost exactly a year ago, I got the crushing news that Microsoft Paint would no longer be a supported app.

WHAT THE FUCK? I thought, a year ago, as a wave of nostalgia swept through me. As you know, I am a professional, accomplished, envied drawer person (available for hire).

A year ago, I planned to reveal my secret talent in this post. For you may or may not know, before I became a Very Important and Distinguished Professional drawer person, and even before I became an Internationally Renowned,  Marginally Proficient Adobe Illustrator illustrator:

I was an A++ Certified Badass in Microsoft Paint. True story!

Back when computers were only a thing for my friends whose moms re-married rich tech guys after leaving their philandering husbands, all we did was play Oregon Trail and draw things with Paint. And when my brother Josh got Mario Paint for his Super Nintendo, I didn’t think life got any better. That was, until we got our first family computer in 1997, and I had free reign over my MS Paint domain. I think I went through a ream of paper printing out every single doodle that came to me.

I mean, I loved drawing, and I really loved drawing with computers. And with all that hard work, all that determination, all that training, and all the wrist surgeries from the “holding mouse at precise angle so as not to make crooked lines” carpal tunnel I suffered, I progressed to the before-unheard of skill set of “Kinda Mostly ok”. And that’s an honour I carry with me to this day.

So, a year ago, when I got the sad news that MS Paint was going to kick the fill bucket, I thought of writing this blog. And I decided to put together a collection of my greatest MS Paint hits. And it took 363 days, but by golly I did it. I wish I could find the stuff I did when I was a sad 13 year old on the ol’ Gateway 2000, but alas. That’s a blog for another day (perhaps next year?). For now, though, enjoy this carefully curated gallery of my greatest works:

 

And entertain yourselves with these illustrated stories from the vault:

 

I don’t care if it’s a “deprecated” app, and “not in active development and might be removed in future releases”. It’s still #1 in my heart. And I’ll always love it. A year later, and I’m still bummed. Me and this 87 year old Grandmother will be here in the corner, rocking the shit out of steady hand line drawing with our mouses, and revelling in the 10 different colour choices and no less than 6 different line widths.

CHAMPION.

*btw, to prove how efficient and awesome I am, here’s a screen shot off my phone. Not only am I very good at art, I am also very good at ignoring deadlines.

 

See you next year! Probably.
xoxo