Naaaaah – as I’ve said before, making a list of resolutions – even if they’re disguised as “goals” “intentions” “declarations” “wishes” “list of things that PLEASE GOD AUDREY JUST DON’T DO THIS ANYMORE” — is just simply the easiest way for me to make a list of Things I’ll Just Keep Happily Doing In Spite of Literally Everything In My Soul Begging Me to Not Do.
Per usual, I’m not making resolutions. I usually don’t do them because I’m like everyone else and I start to lose steam on January 2. This year could be different, tho. In November, my therapist and I made a plan for me to better myself, and I’ve been working at it and seeing some positive strokes. And as I crept toward the Dec 31, I figured there’s actually no point in setting resolutions, because I’m already doing them. This self betterment includes:
- shopping less: I’m doing a version of Wear What I Have – wherein I don’t shop for any unnecessary clothing/shoes/accessories for 365 days. I tried to start in November, but totally caved, crashed, burned, landed in a pile of new clothes and excuses as to why I needed them and have held on to for too long and can’t return them. So far, I’m on Day 5, and I haven’t bought anything. Gotta stay strong.
- spending more thoughtfully/saving deliberately: I was going overboard with Living Excessively/paying for convenience. Uber, Deliveroo lunches at work, ordering take out at home, frivolous housewares, extra toiletries, cafe coffee before work every morning, etc. I can’t save money if I’m blowing it all the time on bullshit. And if I’m not blowing it on bullshit, I can blow up my savings account.
- reading more: I read 4.5 books between Nov 1 and Jan 1. I think the last time that happened, I was in college.
- scrolling less: I’ve allowed myself to aimlessly scroll only once a day – not the 700x a day I grew accustomed to (results: read 4.5 books in 2 months)
- getting up in the mornings: Instead of getting out of bed 15-20 minutes before I’m supposed to leave, I’m getting out of bed an hour before. Eating breakfast, having coffee, making the bed, getting ready – it’s nice.
- being nicer to myself: I don’t want to be my own worst enemy anymore. So I’m working on how I talk to and how I treat myself.
- getting out more: Getting myself out of the house for reasons other than going to the grocery store or work. Listening to audio books or new music instead of the same crap reality TV. I’m getting there.
- eating better: ok, I’ll give myself a 50% on this, because I still eat like a garbage can 50% of the time. But I passed up desert on Wednesday, so who knows, maybe I’m turning over a new leaf.
- writing more: this one also gets a 50%. I haven’t been as good as I want to be, but I’m getting there, which is important.
OK, and one that I’m unquestionably failing at:
- Fitness: I worked out once on Nov 11, and then paid $40 to join a fitness club at work, which met every Wednesday evening for 4 weeks for one hour. Once a week. At work. WHERE I WOULD ALREADY BE, for 4 weeks and I skipped ALL of them. Champion.
I’ve been wanting to write about this stuff for the past couple months, because I had some first-world shaking revelations in the last few months. But you know. I haven’t made blogging and writing a top priority. But that’s changing, because I’m happier when I’m writing and I’m even happier when I’m writing and updating the ol’ blog at the same time. And I heard a quote from Abe Lincoln or Eleanor Roosevelt or The Dalai Llama or Britney Spears or some other prominent philosopher that says “doing things that make you happy will probably make you happy.” Shocker. So I figured, heck, it’s worth a shot.
And so, in the spirit of doing things that make us happy, we rang in the new year with a super chill evening at home. It was too hot and stormy to go out, so Joel made po’boys, we drank cheap beer, played chess, watched movies, and were asleep by 12:30AM. I never thought I’d be the person who likes chess. I always assumed it had a lot to do with math, probably because chess is stereotyped as something super math-smart people do. But really, it’s just learning strategy and thinking 16 steps ahead and remembering that the bishop only moves on the diagonal but the rook moves in a straight line and the queen can whatever the fuck she wants.
They say start as you mean to go on. And I definitely intend to go on in a chill, fun manner, with fried foods. And continue to work on myself. And maybe work out once or twice.
Happy New Year, everybody!