Affirmations

I’ve been dying for a rainy day during my time off. Why? Because there are few things better than waking up to a torrential downpour and feeling that warm, slow, smug realisation of “Hey – I don’t have to go anywhere or do shit today.” Continue reading “Affirmations”

Elastic waist bands: my time off

As of today, it’s been 11 day since I’ve worn real pants or a bra. Shewwwww, to say it’s been awesome would be the understatement of the decade.

I mean, there’s been some shitty parts – see: gas pain from my shoulder to my bottom; being unable to bend down, bend over, reach up or reach over; stab wound pain; bladder filling to even the smallest amount and pressing against my unhealed insides (OUCH); gas pain; headaches; “chocolate” flavoured drinks designed to jumpstart your digestive track (the super fun bowel cementing side effects of narcotic pain killers- ew); more gas pain; PMS cramps on unhealed insides; being unable to roll over in your sleep; sleeping upright for 3 days; even more gas pain; needing assistance to get off the couch and out of bed (even when I had to get up 3x a night because of said slightly filled bladder pressing against everything causing pain); not being able to sneeze, laugh, or cough without sharp pain; it’s been fun.

Even with all that, it’s been a week and I’m basically up and at’em. And I credit that 100% to Joel, and his unrelenting post-surgery care. I’ve only ever been babied by two people- my mom and my sister, and I know Joel is great, but I’ve been blown away. Beyond taking care of all the shopping, cleaning, and cooking (and baking!), for a week straight I wanted for absolutely nothing – snack? Got it. Water? Got it. Medicine? Got it. It’s 3AM and I have to get up to go to the bathroom again? Got it. Spontaneous yet dire need to change my sweater? On it. Help washing my hair? Yep. DON’T REACH FOR THAT. LET ME GET THAT. He’s been nothing short of an angel. Or a highly paid, devoted nurse from a nursing home. I am the luckiest. If anything, the 8 (mostly) uninterrupted days I had with him have just reaffirmed that he is in fact, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

So even though I’ve been glued to the couch with a heating pad for the past week, I’ve had a nice time off.  Besides all the hang times I got with Joel, Josien brought us burgers from Hub House and LEGO JURASSIC WORLD (aka the only video game I’m even kinda good at) on Monday, Craig brought us coffee and breakfast on Friday, and Hugh and Eddie came by after that with sandwiches – because our friends are amazeballs. And because I haven’t been able to move around much, I’ve been able to get a lot of reading and sit down work done – new blog header: done; art bag: done; outline and background work for novel project: done; new couch pillows: sewed. It’s not as much as I thought I’d get done, but then again, it never is. I have finally come to accept that my expectations of reality vs reality are farrrr loftier than they have any right to be.

Anyway – here’s what it looked like!

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The draw back to free surgery is the wait time – although I’m much luckier than most. I only waited 1.5 months for availability, and about 2.5 hours between check-in and when I was dressed and rolled into theatre. I credit that to the perks of calling early and showing up early.
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The latest in surgery fashion
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Post-anesthesia/post-morphine recovery room face
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Gorgeous flowers from my friend Kat
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Bed Nest! That sludge is green juice – looks gross, sounds gross, tastes amazing.
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Sweet Angel Baby
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Breeeeakfast a la Joel – livin’ the life
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Do yourself a favour and watch Fargo – it’s the best thing on TV right now.
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Joel’s first batch of from scratch cookies /proud
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American Care Package – brings a tear to the eye. These packages were in the country, at my post office the day after my surgery. HOWEVER. Thanks to numerous mishaps at Australia Post, 3 increasingly angry phone calls and 1 stern email, they arrived a week later. Oh well, they’re no less special.
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Oh, Entemann’s Coffee Cake, how I missed you.
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Breakfast party!
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Breakfast pals
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Sewing party: I finished a season of Project Runway and started my great re-watch of The Wire
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Finished pillows! Slowly everything in my entire life will be designed by Ikea.

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With that, I’m off to get some more writing done – you know, make the most of the rest of my time off and such.

xo

Surgery and Recovery

I went in for surgery on Thursday, for my (hopefully one and only) laparoscopy (and hysteroscopy, excision of endometrial tissue and pap smear – I had to confirm my procedures and allergies with 8 different nurses – Aussies are nothing but careful). Continue reading “Surgery and Recovery”

Catchup.com

Once upon a more productive time, I used to do a catch up blog every month. Ah, the days when life was simple, unencumbered by the wild throws of admiration and attention that sudden success and fame brings. Continue reading “Catchup.com”

What Mom Taught Me: a Mother’s Day post

My mom taught me heaps. A few years ago, I published a piece on Thought Catalog called “Things My Mother Couldn’t Teach Me.” It’s a bit of a downer, and super full of mid-20’s angst (I wrote it post break up, whilst full of feelings and whiskey). I came across it this year when Mogul.com re-published it. I winced the entire time I read it. Ohhh, to be 27 and full of agony again.  Continue reading “What Mom Taught Me: a Mother’s Day post”

Audrey vs. Australia: Chinese Garden of Friendship

As I mentioned in my last post – I’m doing Australia in a series of posts called Audrey vs. Australia. LOOK OUT! And my first stop was basically in my backyard – a 15 minute walk from our apartment took us to the gorgeous Chinese Garden of Friendship, right in Darling Harbour.

I’ve walked past the Garden more times than I count, but Saturday marked the first time I’ve been behind the walls. It’s $6 for adult admission, and it’s $6 of beauty, zen, and most importantly, big ass, majestic lizards. The garden is filled with peaceful rivers, lakes, waterfalls, and lagoons; is drowning in greenery; is glowing with flowers and lanterns; and dotted with intricately designed pavilions and secret pathways where you can have a sit or explore. It’s an interesting juxtaposition of traditional zen and bustling city, and I had a blast. Will definitely add “Chinese Garden of Zen” to my future dream house plans.

It was a bit cold, and too late into autumn to see the garden in bloom, but it was still absolutely lovely. I can only imagine how lush and beautiful it looks in spring and summer. Or when it’s raining. Ah man.

Let’s take a tour:

 

 

 

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The majestic Bin Chicken beckons you in
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The entrance to the garden – a fun bonsai farm.
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views through the pavilion
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I love red lanterns
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walk way of zen
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lagoon of zen
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Actual Photographer
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I am a rat. Zodia-graphically. The Garden had all the Chinese zodiac animals hidden around the place. I almost found them all.

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lily pads and sculptures and willow trees, oh my!
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waterfall!
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A stranger offered to take our photo. And she didn’t steal my camera. Friendship forever.
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Love Graffiti Bamboo Forest
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1 of 1 billion flower pics
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more zodiac sculptures
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2 of 1 billion flower pics
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SUN BERRIES
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I want this print on a dress.
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top of the falls, and the Rising Jade Pavilion
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I love this reflection
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It’s my faaavourite
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Fake Photographer
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raise the red lantern
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Rising Jade, for my mom – she had jade plants all around the house when I was growing up.
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3 of 1 billion flower pics
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my lily pads and sculptures and lagoon (featuring casino construction in the background)
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4 of 1 billion flower pics
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Twin Pavilion – named for it’s joined roof and benches
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There were SO MANY lizards. I took about 700 photos. In fact, this blog was almost called “Chinese Garden of LIZARDS”
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fantastic details inside the Twin Pavilion. I’m buying all the red lanterns this year.
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East views
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Willow trees = best trees
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baby falls

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I love a good stone stair case – and the Gardens did not disappoint. It’s basically the closest I’ll get to rock climbing.
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I also love this handsome face
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View of the aptly named Grand Pavilion
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More gorgeous details in the Grand Pavilion
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dat ceiling lantern
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Views to the west
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the red-pink flowers were the best
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Forest garden
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RABBIT
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LIZARD (seriously – I had to restrain myself from only posting lizard photos. Be thankful I stopped myself at 2.)
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no trolls were found
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babble babble
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more bamboo islands
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views to the west
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DUCK
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FEEEEESH – we got there right after feeding time, and it was literally a frenzy. These suckers were huuuuge.
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exit with zen
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good bye!

I had a pretty stressful Friday, which bled into Saturday morning, and I was surprised that wandering around the Garden all morning absolutely took my mind off of it. As we left, I felt happy, relaxed, and like I wanted to go right back in. I’m not one who is normally fixed by zen gardens, and I didn’t even realise it, but it actually worked. Triumph!

+10, would definitely venture again.

AudPodge vs. Australia

The building I work in has a balcony with a view of the ANZAC Bridge, and yesterday I spent my lunch break up there. It was one of those days where the sun was perfect, the humidity was perfect, the temperature was perfect, the breeze was perfect, and the pollen count was awful (can’t win ’em all). Continue reading “AudPodge vs. Australia”

Prepositions

I couldn’t sleep the other night. I tried reading blogs and Googling random celebrities (did you know that Dianne Wiest was basically broke in 2015 and almost lost her apartment?), which are my go-to sleep tricks, but to no avail. So I turned off my phone, closed my eyes, and started diagramming sentences.  Continue reading “Prepositions”

My body, myself. Or, growing up.

When I was 10, we had two TV’s with cable – one in the living room and one in my parent’s room.  Between my brother’s Super Nintendo and my sister’s Food Network, I rarely got to watch it in the living room, so I commandeered my parent’s TV. My parents had a giant bed with 47 pillows and tons of blankets, and I had privacy – I flipped between Wishbone and MTV while writing stories about unicorns whose parents were ax murderers and no one bothered me.

Continue reading “My body, myself. Or, growing up.”