All pets go to Heaven – even the ones in the freezer

Earlier this week, a friend of mine sadly lost the cat she had for 13 years this week. She had to come in to work for a  meeting, and sadly, the cat had passed away by the time she got home. Apparently the cat was looking worse for the wear over the weekend, but she thought she would at least have one more day in her. Needless to say, it’s been a heavy loss. Continue reading “All pets go to Heaven – even the ones in the freezer”

Aw, rats (not a Twilight fan fiction post)

There’s a relatively new apartment building built across the street from our building, and I walk past it on my way to the bus stop. This relatively new building has a gigantic rubbish room, and I walk past it every morning. Continue reading “Aw, rats (not a Twilight fan fiction post)”

Spoiled milk tales

I work with some chatty people. Like, Chatty. At least once a day I fall down a tangent trail that started with a legitimate work question, how do you adjust a doctor’s diary, but ends up in a full on discussion of whether a good corn bread recipe has sugar in it (spoiler alert: it does). And for someone like me, who hasn’t met a person I can’t swap a story with (I was born to be a grandma, spinning tales), sometimes I get lost for the better part of half an hour, and I have to forcibly remove myself or I will spend my entire shift sharing anecdotes.

(Hi, I am a blogger) Continue reading “Spoiled milk tales”

Idiocy

I can be quite the idiot. Like, I should get a special prize kind of idiot.

My idiocy is never more apparent than when I’m trying to rush through something. it’s like, “That’s future Audrey’s problem” is my prevailing mantra (Present Day Audrey is a real dick to Future Audrey). And Thursday was no exception. Continue reading “Idiocy”

Hodge Podge – Wednesday

1 – After another night of broiling temps waking us up every few hours, and walking into work looking like I’d run a marathon (how does it get so sweaty at 8AM?!) I walked out of the office today and I had to put my cardigan back on. And now I’m wearing sweat pants. AND long sleeves. I am content. Continue reading “Hodge Podge – Wednesday”

Hodge Podge – Wednesday

We had a hot one today, folks – so hot that I went to work simply so I could have air conditioning (that’s serious) even though I really wanted to stay home and smother myself in aloe (my sunburn still really, really hurts). Continue reading “Hodge Podge – Wednesday”

Hodge Podge

I have nothing to blog about. But I want to blog. So, why not do a little catch up post? Heck yeah.

So, what’s been happening?

Work – I got a semi-promotion, I love my team, there’s a cafe near by that makes my most favourite coffee, I don’t have to keep email on my phone, and it’s the right amount of challenge and ease. I go to work, I come home, I don’t want to kill myself. And really, I can’t ask for much more than that.

Home – I love our little place. Would it be better with an actual kitchen room, an extra bedroom, hard wood floors, and air conditioning? Of course. But I love it anyway. We’re coming up on 12 months here, and I’m crossing my fingers that our rent doesn’t jump up a million percent.

Writing – I’ve been so hella inspired to write. I found a writer’s group that meets at a Communist themed bar near my work, so I go there on Wednesday nights and try to jam out as much as possible in 2 hours – in October I got about 10 pages written. But when I sit down, lately, nothing happens. So that’s great. I need to have a sit down/Come to Jesus meeting with myself.

Hair – I finally treated myself to the salon, and I now have heaps more blonde. Next week, I’ll get a few inches chopped off. Hello, Summer!

Therapy – I love my therapist. I want to hug her at the end of each session. But I did cancel this month’s sessions so I could get my hair done. Adulthood is knowing you need to go to therapy, and also knowing you need to have your roots done, but realising you can’t do both. But, as I rationalised, my neuroses will still be there next month. #worthit

Lettering – I’ve gotten really, really into lettering lately. I’ve been following graphic designers on IG and doodling in my spare time. I’m not even in the same stratosphere as them, but it’s fun.

Joel – absolutely wonderful. +10, would move to Australia for him again.

Bacon – I found “streaky” aka AMERICAN style bacon that’s just to die for at the fancy pants grocery store near our house. It’s $10, or for $7 there’s a slightly less delicious one, but it crisps up and tastes just like home. I’ve been working it into dinner at least once a week.

Cooking – I have some good recipes I’m planning to launch here on the blog, and all but one of them are my own creation – which is neat. I’m basically a master chef now.

Christmas – I’m pretty jazzed for Christmas this year. Probably because Christmas last year was awesome sauce, and probably because I’ve already started planning and plotting what I’m doing for gifts, not leaving it for last minute and $$$$$ like I did last year. Also I’m obsessing over what our Christmas tree will look like. We’ve had a teeny tiny tree, and a big twig tree. This year, I want a medium sized, full tree. And I want to decorate. I want to watch Christmas movies and pretend that it’s not insanely hot outside. I’ve even gone so far as to Google Christmas decor – seriously, I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I think the key to hot weather Christmas is avoiding the traditional green and red colour combo. Green and Red makes me think of snow, cold, hot cocoa and tacky sweaters. But bright colours and weird trees don’t. So I’m going for non-traditional decorations this year. My only caveat is that we have to have an actual tree. Our twig tree was pretty, but it didn’t have the same Christmassy feel.

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I’m only slightly terrified of this urge to decorate – but it was bound to happen sooner or later. My family has 3 trees and 3 floors of Christmas decor almost every year. And I secretly love that shit. Stay tuned.

Summer – We’ve had a few super hot days sprinkled in between our lovely cold mornings and nights, but the cold nights are getting few and far between. I’m determined to get my Australian driver’s license so that we can go on some adventures this year. Or at least hit the beach on the weekends. I haven’t been behind the wheel of a car in 2 years – it’s kinda terrifying to think that I’ve had this long a break + I’ll be driving on the opposite side. WATCH OUT AUSTRALIA.

What’s going on with everyone else? Stay tuned for recipes, CHRISTMAS, and much more – the unproductive Audpodge & Blither Blather will dazzle you with its content and relevancy. Sheeeeeit.

 

xo

Your 9 Year Old Self

I saw this on Instagram today –

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side note – I want one of these boards. And I ain’t even mad at myself for it.

 

And instantly, my first thought was, “man, 9 year old Audrey would think 32 year old Audrey is pretty lame.”

And then I thought, wait – 9 year old Audrey’s day during the school week consisted of

  • taking an hour to wake up in the morning
  • fiercely debating cutting her own bangs every morning
  • sneaking her mom’s coffee
  • taking too long to pick out clothes because she was too busy fantasising about clothes she didn’t have
  • going to school where she was equal parts I CAN DO THIS and help me I’m so overwhelmed
  • walking home through the woods so she could act out little stories running through her head
  • typing out said stories on her typewriter while listening to music; or making elaborate plans to do or build or create something; or drawing killer whales, researching killer whales, becoming a killer whale, basically engaging whatever I was obsessed with at the time
  • staying in the bath (never a shower – thanks Psycho) until the water turned cold
  • falling asleep while watching a movie
  • waking up to go to bed and reading books or comic strip collections until she passed out with the lights on

And I was all “that’s basically my same routine now.” So I’m basically living like my 9 year old self was watching. And my 9 year old self thinks I’m pretty rad – I mean, I can take showers without the fear of a cross dressing schizophrenic with PTSD stabbing me to death. I mean, I’m sure she’s disappointed that I’m not a marine biologist/killer whale trainer by day, novelist by night, actress and movie director on the weekends, married to Brad Pitt and living in a log cabin with a herd of dogs, but hey. You can only do so much in 23 years. Plus, now I can stay up late watching movies whenever I feel like it. Fuck yeah.

Hey inner-child, high 5!

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So early 90’s it hurts. Not pictured: Brad Pitt Legend of the Fall poster directly to the right of those sick Aladdin wall decals.

How would your 9 year old self judge you?

xo