Elastic waist bands: my time off

As of today, it’s been 11 day since I’ve worn real pants or a bra. Shewwwww, to say it’s been awesome would be the understatement of the decade.

I mean, there’s been some shitty parts – see: gas pain from my shoulder to my bottom; being unable to bend down, bend over, reach up or reach over; stab wound pain; bladder filling to even the smallest amount and pressing against my unhealed insides (OUCH); gas pain; headaches; “chocolate” flavoured drinks designed to jumpstart your digestive track (the super fun bowel cementing side effects of narcotic pain killers- ew); more gas pain; PMS cramps on unhealed insides; being unable to roll over in your sleep; sleeping upright for 3 days; even more gas pain; needing assistance to get off the couch and out of bed (even when I had to get up 3x a night because of said slightly filled bladder pressing against everything causing pain); not being able to sneeze, laugh, or cough without sharp pain; it’s been fun.

Even with all that, it’s been a week and I’m basically up and at’em. And I credit that 100% to Joel, and his unrelenting post-surgery care. I’ve only ever been babied by two people- my mom and my sister, and I know Joel is great, but I’ve been blown away. Beyond taking care of all the shopping, cleaning, and cooking (and baking!), for a week straight I wanted for absolutely nothing – snack? Got it. Water? Got it. Medicine? Got it. It’s 3AM and I have to get up to go to the bathroom again? Got it. Spontaneous yet dire need to change my sweater? On it. Help washing my hair? Yep. DON’T REACH FOR THAT. LET ME GET THAT. He’s been nothing short of an angel. Or a highly paid, devoted nurse from a nursing home. I am the luckiest. If anything, the 8 (mostly) uninterrupted days I had with him have just reaffirmed that he is in fact, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

So even though I’ve been glued to the couch with a heating pad for the past week, I’ve had a nice time off.  Besides all the hang times I got with Joel, Josien brought us burgers from Hub House and LEGO JURASSIC WORLD (aka the only video game I’m even kinda good at) on Monday, Craig brought us coffee and breakfast on Friday, and Hugh and Eddie came by after that with sandwiches – because our friends are amazeballs. And because I haven’t been able to move around much, I’ve been able to get a lot of reading and sit down work done – new blog header: done; art bag: done; outline and background work for novel project: done; new couch pillows: sewed. It’s not as much as I thought I’d get done, but then again, it never is. I have finally come to accept that my expectations of reality vs reality are farrrr loftier than they have any right to be.

Anyway – here’s what it looked like!

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The draw back to free surgery is the wait time – although I’m much luckier than most. I only waited 1.5 months for availability, and about 2.5 hours between check-in and when I was dressed and rolled into theatre. I credit that to the perks of calling early and showing up early.
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The latest in surgery fashion
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Post-anesthesia/post-morphine recovery room face
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Gorgeous flowers from my friend Kat
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Bed Nest! That sludge is green juice – looks gross, sounds gross, tastes amazing.
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Sweet Angel Baby
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Breeeeakfast a la Joel – livin’ the life
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Do yourself a favour and watch Fargo – it’s the best thing on TV right now.
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Joel’s first batch of from scratch cookies /proud
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American Care Package – brings a tear to the eye. These packages were in the country, at my post office the day after my surgery. HOWEVER. Thanks to numerous mishaps at Australia Post, 3 increasingly angry phone calls and 1 stern email, they arrived a week later. Oh well, they’re no less special.
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Oh, Entemann’s Coffee Cake, how I missed you.
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Breakfast party!
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Breakfast pals
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Sewing party: I finished a season of Project Runway and started my great re-watch of The Wire
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Finished pillows! Slowly everything in my entire life will be designed by Ikea.

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With that, I’m off to get some more writing done – you know, make the most of the rest of my time off and such.

xo

Catchup.com

Once upon a more productive time, I used to do a catch up blog every month. Ah, the days when life was simple, unencumbered by the wild throws of admiration and attention that sudden success and fame brings. Continue reading “Catchup.com”

Catchup.com

So, last week sucked.

But that’s ok, sometimes shit sucks. I’ve written it off and I’m moving forward. Last week, I did nothing at all productive. I’m not kidding – absolutely nothing. Continue reading “Catchup.com”

Catchup.com – January

Forgive the radio silence around here – I’ve been trapped in a time warp where the only hours I’m conscious are between 8AM-5PM. And before I know it, I’m waking up to get ready for work again.  I blame the 800% humidity and 37*C temperatures and my debilitating cramps and two relatively stressful weeks at work. So in all honesty, blogging got lost in the cray. Hoo-ray. Continue reading “Catchup.com – January”

Hodge Podge – Wednesday

1 – After another night of broiling temps waking us up every few hours, and walking into work looking like I’d run a marathon (how does it get so sweaty at 8AM?!) I walked out of the office today and I had to put my cardigan back on. And now I’m wearing sweat pants. AND long sleeves. I am content. Continue reading “Hodge Podge – Wednesday”

Hodge Podge – Wednesday

We had a hot one today, folks – so hot that I went to work simply so I could have air conditioning (that’s serious) even though I really wanted to stay home and smother myself in aloe (my sunburn still really, really hurts). Continue reading “Hodge Podge – Wednesday”

Good Days

The past few days have been rock solid.

Thursday – it rained all day, and the temperature dropped to about 20*C, which was FANTASTIC, considering the temps were near 32*C on Tuesday and Wednesday and I thought I was going to melt. My coworker and I had a day of cleaning up/closing up shop at our smaller practice, and we got out earlier than expected due to construction. The early dismissal gave me time to get my driver’s license and have some quality rainy night couch time with Joel, who put up my string lights and made a damn good pasta dinner and was basically a sweet angel baby. With the exception of some horrendous cramps, it was a great night.

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Friday – first, it rained all day AGAIN which meant MORE chilly weather, which meant no sweating and much good times. I had a good day at work, got some surprising (good!) news about my promotion, scored some fantastic second hand clothes,

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some of the second hand goodness – more on this later.

and I came home to a book surprise/early Christmas present from my parents.

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I heart Bloom County. I had a stack of these comic collections that I read and memorised when I was a kid. I haven’t read any of the re-boot comics before now, and they sure as shit don’t disappoint. Subversive 80’s comics for the win.

Friday night concluded with more rain, an order of Thai food from our new favourite take out place (Oriental Healthy, if you’re interested – really delicious and super affordable), and watching Home Alone and Botched Brides, and working with Santa (Amazon Prime) until about 1AM. A+, all around.

Saturday: Unfortunately, the weekend of thunderstorms didn’t happen, as I woke up on Saturday morning to annoyingly bright sun, blue skies and stupid hot temperatures. I met my friend/coworker Casey for coffee and a last minute thrift store run before our Recycled Clothes themed Christmas party that afternoon. I mis-read the invitation as 80’s Christmas, so I was on the hunt for a sweet fanny pack (or bum bag, as they’re called here). We trekked through the heat and I sweated through my clothes, but we made it. And even though I didn’t find a fanny pack, I did find some sweet tops for work, a pair of barely worn hi-top Converse shoes, and two awesome little dessert plates.

Then, it was time to suit up for the party. Here I am in my vintage 80’s goodness:

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Welcome to the 80’s, may I take your order?

 

Heaps of fun was had, and heaps of champagne and G&T’s were consumed.

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I won “Runner Up Best Female” for what, I’m not exactly sure. It might have been for costume, but I might have just been almost good enough to be the best female at work. I don’t know, I was quite drunk. I was up for Employee of the Year, but the winner was drawn at random and the other American snagged the title. I’ll just have to settle for Second Best Female. Saturday night wrapped up with me passing out on the couch with a face full of make up and spilled curry down my shirt, until Joel put me to bed and cleaned up my mess. #sweetangelbaby

Sunday: The merriment on Saturday meant I was absolutely useless on Sunday. I slept in, and then was stuck to the couch watching Sex and the City until about 3PM. I managed to do some laundry, but that’s about it. Eventually I showered and made it to dinner and pool with Joel and our Abercrombie St family.

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Spice Alley – very much good.
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The pool game that would not end. I’m not normally a good pool player, but I was exceptionally not good tonight.

 

So yes, it was a lovely way to wrap up the week. And it’s hard to believe that it’s already Christmas next week. And in two weeks, it’s a new year. Holy shit.

Better get my act together on all those resolutions I was all gung ho about this year  o_0

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

xo

 

 

Hodge Podge

I have nothing to blog about. But I want to blog. So, why not do a little catch up post? Heck yeah.

So, what’s been happening?

Work – I got a semi-promotion, I love my team, there’s a cafe near by that makes my most favourite coffee, I don’t have to keep email on my phone, and it’s the right amount of challenge and ease. I go to work, I come home, I don’t want to kill myself. And really, I can’t ask for much more than that.

Home – I love our little place. Would it be better with an actual kitchen room, an extra bedroom, hard wood floors, and air conditioning? Of course. But I love it anyway. We’re coming up on 12 months here, and I’m crossing my fingers that our rent doesn’t jump up a million percent.

Writing – I’ve been so hella inspired to write. I found a writer’s group that meets at a Communist themed bar near my work, so I go there on Wednesday nights and try to jam out as much as possible in 2 hours – in October I got about 10 pages written. But when I sit down, lately, nothing happens. So that’s great. I need to have a sit down/Come to Jesus meeting with myself.

Hair – I finally treated myself to the salon, and I now have heaps more blonde. Next week, I’ll get a few inches chopped off. Hello, Summer!

Therapy – I love my therapist. I want to hug her at the end of each session. But I did cancel this month’s sessions so I could get my hair done. Adulthood is knowing you need to go to therapy, and also knowing you need to have your roots done, but realising you can’t do both. But, as I rationalised, my neuroses will still be there next month. #worthit

Lettering – I’ve gotten really, really into lettering lately. I’ve been following graphic designers on IG and doodling in my spare time. I’m not even in the same stratosphere as them, but it’s fun.

Joel – absolutely wonderful. +10, would move to Australia for him again.

Bacon – I found “streaky” aka AMERICAN style bacon that’s just to die for at the fancy pants grocery store near our house. It’s $10, or for $7 there’s a slightly less delicious one, but it crisps up and tastes just like home. I’ve been working it into dinner at least once a week.

Cooking – I have some good recipes I’m planning to launch here on the blog, and all but one of them are my own creation – which is neat. I’m basically a master chef now.

Christmas – I’m pretty jazzed for Christmas this year. Probably because Christmas last year was awesome sauce, and probably because I’ve already started planning and plotting what I’m doing for gifts, not leaving it for last minute and $$$$$ like I did last year. Also I’m obsessing over what our Christmas tree will look like. We’ve had a teeny tiny tree, and a big twig tree. This year, I want a medium sized, full tree. And I want to decorate. I want to watch Christmas movies and pretend that it’s not insanely hot outside. I’ve even gone so far as to Google Christmas decor – seriously, I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I think the key to hot weather Christmas is avoiding the traditional green and red colour combo. Green and Red makes me think of snow, cold, hot cocoa and tacky sweaters. But bright colours and weird trees don’t. So I’m going for non-traditional decorations this year. My only caveat is that we have to have an actual tree. Our twig tree was pretty, but it didn’t have the same Christmassy feel.

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I’m only slightly terrified of this urge to decorate – but it was bound to happen sooner or later. My family has 3 trees and 3 floors of Christmas decor almost every year. And I secretly love that shit. Stay tuned.

Summer – We’ve had a few super hot days sprinkled in between our lovely cold mornings and nights, but the cold nights are getting few and far between. I’m determined to get my Australian driver’s license so that we can go on some adventures this year. Or at least hit the beach on the weekends. I haven’t been behind the wheel of a car in 2 years – it’s kinda terrifying to think that I’ve had this long a break + I’ll be driving on the opposite side. WATCH OUT AUSTRALIA.

What’s going on with everyone else? Stay tuned for recipes, CHRISTMAS, and much more – the unproductive Audpodge & Blither Blather will dazzle you with its content and relevancy. Sheeeeeit.

 

xo

The Mayonnaise Days

So, not only is it September, it’s almost half way through September. I mean, I know time flies once you get older and you’re too busy focusing on how broke you are or how many over time hours you’re working or how many hangovers you get, but this year really has completed at break-neck speed. Not once, even in the worst moments, have I felt any day just draaaag, not once have I looked at the calendar and think “but whhhhy isn’t this month over yet?” I mean, seriously.

Speaking of time flying, I’m currently sitting outside in shorts and a t-shirt. Which means we’ve made it through yet another season.

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eeeeeeeeeeeey

I love these trans-seasonal days. I like waking up and it’s cold enough to wear a jacket, and by lunch time it’s warm enough to sit outside and eat lunch – but not come back a sweaty mess, and when the sun goes down, it’s back to jacket weather. It’s spring time, and has been since September 1, and that means before I know it I’ll be waking up in the jungle heat, taking two showers a day, and checking for Huntsmen before I put my shoes on or use the toilet. #australia

And the low to zero humidity renews all sense of hope and purpose in life and makes me think anything is possible – like, I’M GOING TO START WALKING TO WORK EVERY DAY! I’M GOING TO THE BEACH EVERY WEEKEND! I’M GOING TO GROW A GARDEN! WE WILL EAT OUTSIDE ALL THE TIME! HAPPY HOUR IN THE SUN! And then the real summer weather kicks in and I’m all “yeah I’ll be in front of the fan covered in frozen wash clothes and hoping for swift death.”

But for now, it’s nice.

It’s great to feel a rush of inspiration, as it’s been a bit meh around here for the past few weeks. There have been long days/nights at work and cleaning house and making dinner and making pies and going to the pub and shopping for groceries and watching Breaking Bad at the end of the day and trying to get back on track with life.

I mean, these days aren’t bad by any stretch of the imagination. There’s just not a lot of breaking news. These days are like mayonnaise. Not exciting, but not awful. The mayonnaise days. And while there’s little things here and there I wanted to mention in a blog, nothing seemed to materialise, because the mayonnaise days also mean I have the physical endurance of a jar of mayo. But in retrospect, it’s been nice to have some days without a lot of noise – emotional or otherwise.

I’ve started seeing a new counsellor who seems to be a better fit and is more affordable. I’m not in a particularly bad way anymore, but I want to keep up the maintenance, as it were. Joel’s working hard and making plans for his business, and in the mean time is taking some amazing photos. Our biological clocks are barking – we need a dog friend, and soon. I’m planning to revamp our “study” area so it’s better organised and has more storage space. This includes a trip to Ikea, which we all know gives me all the excitement. The sunsets are amazing. And I’m thinking about making my Goals for Summer List, but I’m also thinking about not making a Goals for Summer List, because lately whenever I make a list of things to do, it ends up being a list of shit that never gets done. We’ll see.

Let’s check out some pics!

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Plannnnnns. Redecorating and re-organising gets me really excited. It’s weird.
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My new favourite comfort food – shredded lettuce topped with basmati rice and corn, refried black beans, avocado, salsa and sour cream. How did I grow up in the south and NOT know that refried black beans exist?
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Hello, Darling.
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Chocolate Cream Cheese Dream Pie with cookie pie crust and home made whipped cream. My own recipe and yep – life changing. Will post the recipe soon. 
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Doodling with the awesome Copic markers Joel gave me. Copic markers – amazeballs.
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Deep Fried Oreos – oh yes. I’ll have to share this recipe, they taste just like a county fair treat. 
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Came home at 9:30PM after a double shift to home made curry and fried roti bread – Joel is a keeper.
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I was obsessing over spice racks, so our friend Hugh gave us one of his. Hooray! No more clunky Ikea spice drawer for us. Plus Hugh is a chef so I like to think that this spice rack has quite a history. Like, this spice rack has probably seen a lot of shit. Inherited furniture is the best. Next step – new/matching spice jars.

 

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Made some brownies. Through the magic of Imperial to Metric conversions, or a faulty scale, I added to much butter and they came out super greasy and spongey. After several hours, they solidified to something resembling brownies, and they still tasted like brownies – just not as textured as I like them to be. I call them Greasies.
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But damn, if Joel didn’t make them look like a splendid and tasty treat. I call this “Fantastic Photos of Bad Food.”
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We decided to get a new, more breathable doona cover, and better cotton sheets for summer. I finally found one that fit Joel’s need of “something that feels like sheets” and my need for “colour” while at the same time satisfying Joel’s need for “nothing busy.” It took 4.5 hours of back and forth between 5 different stores on 3 different levels, muttering about “printed sheets or solid doona or printed doona and solid sheets.” Nothing exactly fit or blew my skirt up, except for this blanket. After emergency lunch (I nearly had a hangry meltdown when I couldn’t find my phone – in my back pocket), I threw my hands up and said “Fuck it” and bought this quilt cover that stole my heart, and white sheets as a compromise even though I really wanted the printed sheets that compliment the blanket, 98% sure Joel would hate it. But, the bedding Gods smiled upon me, and he was stoked for the new stuff. I agonise about my bed’s clothes as much as I do my own. Add shopping for bedding for two opinionated people who don’t have the same taste in bedding is simultaneously the most fun and the worst thing ever. Longest caption ever.
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However, bed is now super awesome. And it’s 300% harder to leave it and be a real person.
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I finally got around to re-hanging our string of Instax pics. Don’t even get me started on that eyesore phone. I’m going to take it down and hang a framed pic over the phone jack.
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Good bye, winter friend.

Cheers, everyone – to the start of a new season.

And to hopefully getting my shit together before January. And hopefully January doesn’t show up, like tomorrow.