Out with the old, in with the new

On Friday night, my  beloved laptop’s hard drive had a stroke.

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And I was sad. Sad for the obvious reason that I’m totally reliant on this very valuable piece of machinery, but also sad because I’m ridiculously sentimental and I’ve had it for years through myriad adventures.

Thankfully – it wasn’t a complete catastrophe. Even though I’m just about the worst at remembering to back up, it just so happens that I did a major back up of all my documents and photos in January. And I hit another stroke of good luck by being “too busy” “too tired” and “too lazy” to start any major projects since I did a back up in January, or to upload my photos from my camera or my phone, so I only lost a few goofy photos on my photo booth.

There was nothing to be done to save the little guy, so my only option was to buy a new computer. Well, or just not have a computer.

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I know right?

Onward we trekked to the Apple store (I’m a hopeless convert), where I was totally cool and knew exactly what I was talking about. Except the opposite.

I’m not cool enough to own Apple products (seriously, I typed “Mac Store” before I realised “no, that’s not what it’s called.”). And walking into the Apple Store makes me feel like they know it, and they’re like a second away from asking me to leave. I also feel like the little that I do know about technology gets reduced to knowing nothing. Usually after the second question about what I need I’ll end up stammering and pointing at what I want, like it’s 2AM and I’m drunk at Denny’s and trying to order a Moons Over My Hammy. And yesterday was no exception. Exhibit A, my exchange with our super hip Apple Guy:

Apple Guy: So what do you need your computer for?
Me: oh… um word processing, internet, Paint Brush…
Apple Guy: Paint Brush?
Me: Yeah, like Microsoft Paint?
Apple Guy: *blinks slowly* Oh, yeah…
Yes, thank you. Now show me how to get on the world wide web and the amazon dot com.

Exhibit B –
Apple Guy: The hard drive died?
Me: Yeah… it was like… it uh… JOEL????

Exhibit C –
Apple Guy: These silicone covers also have a shock absorption inside, so if the computer is dropped or you put your carrying case down too hard, or anything like that, it’s protected.
Me: (interrupting) does it come in other colours?

I’m pretty sure he thought I was going to take home this very nice computer and use it just for Twitter*.  So now I have a flashy, fancy, new baby. And a fancy, flashy new payment plan. I’m excited to have a computer that will be able to handle Illustrator and Photoshop, because those are cool programs to know anyway, but those kind of skills would be super sexy on my resume, too. And just for a split second, my old computer’s hard drive came to life under Joel’s wizardry, and he did a full back for me. But not too long after that, the hard drive crashed again. It was like he came back to life for one last moment. And now, all is well.

Welcome to the family, Alfred P. Mac-ulon. I hope you and your new pal, WORKING HARD DRIVE THAT I WILL STORE ALL MY WORK ON INSTEAD OF ON MY DESK TOP (I need to remember to do this, guys), become fast friends.

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*jokes on him, I’m also going to use it for Googling celebrities.

On Unemployment

After two weeks of holiday bliss, Joel has gone back to work. Which now means, I have to go back to work.

/sad trumpet

I’ve been pretty fortunate in my life that I’ve only been unemployed twice. And both of those instances coincided with me moving. And, as I’ve moved once again, I face the daunting task of job hunting. Fun!

My new view on life.
My new view on life.

And if Job Hunting in your own country is fun, you should try it as a Non-Resident. I’m facing some hurdles. Mostly that my Work and Holiday visa only lets me work at any job for 6 months at a time, which means I’m limited to retail, food service, or contract work. I haven’t worked retail in about 8 years, and I haven’t worked food service at all. Second, it appears as though most stores have already finished hiring for the holidays.  I applied to about 14 different places online, and I went out yesterday to drop my resume off at bookstores and other shops in the mall, but only once place took my application without telling me “We’ll keep you on file.”

Not having the security of a job gives me a prolonged anxiety attack. And leaving Joel to bear the brunt of the financial burden while I’m jobless notches up that anxiety attack. I know he’s happy to help me while I’m looking for a job, and I’m thankful for that, but free-loading makes me uncomfortable (which stands in direct contrast to my Peter Gibbons like dream of doing absolutely nothing).
I know I don’t have the right to complain yet. It’s only the start of Day 3, and I have a lot of searching help from Joel (and even some of his family members). And I still have savings. But, my savings are to keep me afloat in an emergency situation–not for every day living. I keep having flash backs to 2012, when I ran out of savings and blithely sent off resumes as I lived off my credit cards. And by “lived off my credit cards,” I mean, shopped endlessly for clothes and bedding and going out every other night and buying expensive plane tickets and electronics. Then I curl up in fetal position eating donuts and watching Sex and the City.
Yeah.

I have to keep reminding myself that I was a different person then. In 2012, I was depressed and hating myself and I couldn’t find any real motivation to make things better. Things are definitely different this time around. Yes, I’m wearing sweat pants and watching Sex and the City and I’m blogging, but this time, there’s about 99% less self-hatred*! And even though I’m in a different country, I have to make moves. It’s time to hustle, Kanye style.

After all, I came out here with a purpose, and that purpose is to make a life with Joel. And that won’t happen if I stay in bed glued to HBOGO.

You know, as much as I’d like it to be.

Stay tuned!

*that lingering 1% is because I still want to watch SATC. One day, maybe, I’ll be able to evolve past my terrible guilty pleasures.