When you’re going through Hell

My super extra awesome Christmas holiday is over, and last week I was back at work.

Not gonna lie, it was an awful transition back to work mode. I strapped into the anxiety roller coaster on Sunday morning, and really didn’t get off until Friday. Monday was just the very worst day I’ve had in an extra long time. Absolutely nothing terrible happened, but my mind made me feel like I had just like, single handedly ruined the company. So four days of nausea, tense muscles, rapid thoughts, zero appetite, zero focus, and basically feeling like this:

 

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It’s just a very busy time at work with about 6 million things happening – and about 6 million other things waiting to happen. And it’s all very exciting stuff, which raises the stakes, which makes me nervous to fuck up, which makes me anxious, which makes me almost useless.

Anxiety is exhausting. It’s physically painful. It’s distracting. And dealing with it on my own sometimes takes it out of me. 

It was such a long week. And I think the next three weeks are going to be just as long.

Lord, beer me strength. 

 

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